Bob Dylan hotel opens in Woodstock

Oh mercy! it ain’t me, babe! Tell me that it isn’t true! I don’t believe you! World gone wrong!

These may be some of the thoughts that ran through Bob Dylan’s mind when he learned that the Hotel Dylan is now open for business in Woodstock, N.Y. At the very least, they’re a few of the Dylan song and album titles that ran through our mind when we heard the news.

Never mind that Dylan has no official or unofficial connection to the hotel (whose marketing slogan is: “Peace. Love. Stay”).

The hotel is named after him and is located in the rustic town where Dylan lived about for 18 months between 1967 and 1969. It has music-themed rooms, although none are named after Dylan (a move that may wisely have been undertaken to avoid potential litigation).

Instead, the two-story hotel’s 11 rooms have name like “The Jimi.” It is named, presumably, not after picking locks, but after guitar icon Jimi Hendrix. He performed at the fabled Woodstock festival in 1969, (which took place, not in Woodstock but about an hour away, in Bethel). One of Hendrix’s greatest songs was his stunning re-invention of Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower,” whose arrangement Dylan soon borrowed from Hendrix.

Not a Hendrix fan?

There are other room options, including “The Van,” “The Roadies” (whose name suggests the beds are rarely made), “The Band Suite” (named after Dylan’s legendary musical accompanists) and, um, “The Hippie Chick.”

Sadly, The Hotel Dylan has no rooms called “Motorpsycho Nightmare,” “Gates of Eden,” “Idiot Wind” or “Everything is Broken,” to invoke just a few of our favorite Dylan songs. But it does provide an ambiance designed to evoke a bygone era, with folk-art rugs on the floors, turntables in every room and vinyl records available at the front desk.

Photos of the 1969 Woodstock festival by Elliot Landy adorn the hotel’s walls. A vintage VW bus provides shuttle service to town. A big pit of fresh mud substitutes for a swimming pool. Well, not really; we made the mud pit part up. But the Hotel Dylan is welcome to run with the idea; we won’t charge them anything for it.

A message on the hotel’s website reads: “Hotel Dylan has paid meticulous attention to every detail, presenting an ambiance that parallels the easy, laid-back quality of Woodstock and the locals who call it home. With that in mind, we have added many details to your room to help make your stay more enjoyable. These items are hotel property and should not leave your room. Missing items will be charged to guest.”

Room rates range from $189 to $289, per night, and there are also some upcoming room and music instruction package specials. They include: Brendon Small: Heavy Metal Workshop (Small performs with San Diego’s Mike Keneally in the animated-metal-band-come-to-life Dethklok); Aaron Freeman: Songwriting Demystified (Freeman is better known as Gene Ween from the band Ween); Percussion Camp with Jason Bowman; and “The Great Woodstock Mash, a “hootenanny meets barbecue and cocktails, led by Paul Simon band guitarist Mark Stewart and former Dylan guitarist Larry Campbell.

True, The Hotel Dylan has no workout facilities, but not to worry. It’s located across the street from 28 West Gym, which offers walk-in use, yoga classes and personal training. Alas, “Learn to Box like Bob Dylan” classes are not an option, despite Dylan’s well documented devotion to training and other things pugilistic.