SDSU honors Gwynn at game

Alicia Gwynn led other members of the Gwynn family to midfield at Qualcomm Stadium before Saturday’s San Diego State football game during a ceremony to honor Tony Gwynn, her husband of 33 years.

“It’s so hard for me right now because I miss him so much,” she said afterward. “I feel like a part of my soul is gone.”

The initials TG were printed in red and black across the 19-yard line on both sides of the field and SDSU football players wore a TG sticker on their helmets. A video tribute to Gwynn, who died June 16, was played on the scoreboard before the game.

When the Aztec Warrior came out to the 50-yard-line for the traditional planting of the spear, he broke with tradition, handing it to Alicia to do the honors. She was joined on the field by daughter Anisha and her husband Kennard Jones and their 17-month-old son Cayden, along with Alicia’s brother Ronald Cureton and nephew Charles Smith.

SDSU head coach Mark Martinez and four Aztecs players — Ryan Muno, Steven Pallares, Spencer Thornton and Seby Zavala — joined the family at midfield before returning to their seats with the rest of the team.

Aztecs baseball players wore black T-shirts with 19 on the back, along with a quote from Tony Gwynn: “You can’t live on what you’ve done yesterday. You have to go out and prove yourself today.”

Alicia said having family and friends and the outpouring from fans have helped with her loss.

“I’m just beginning to get out, but it’s still real hard,” she said. “Everybody keeps saying, ‘Give it time.’ I will never be OK with it. I have to learn how to cope.

“I wake up every day thinking he’s going to come in the room, saying, ‘Alicia, Alicia,’ and it doesn’t happen.

“It’s been really tough.”

The presence of her four grandchildren, Cayden and son Tony Gwynn Jr.’s three girls, Leighton, Makayla and Jordan, has been a blessing.

“It gives me a chance to be with them and take things off my mind,” she said, but added, “When I look at them, I see him, especially the little boy, Cayden. I see so much of Tony in him. The way he walks. He’s shaped like Tony. ...”

Alicia said 3-year-old Leighton walks up to photos of Gwynn in the house and says, ‘Papa.’

“It’s almost like she feels his spirit,” said Alicia. “She says, ‘Papa’s gone to Heaven?’ And I say, ‘Yes.’

“He had a special connection with all four of them.”

Alicia said in the final month of his life her husband “was so at peace.”

Gwynn told her: “I’m not afraid to die. You know, I already went over on the other side. I left and came back.”

The reference was to an experience Gwynn had during one of his hospital stays. What mattered most to him is that she would be all right when he was gone.

“He asked me three times, ‘Do you believe in me?’ “ said Alicia. “At first I wouldn’t answer him, but then I said, ‘Of course, I believe in you. I will always believe in you.’

“He said, ‘Well, you just keep believing in me and you carry on. You just take care of the family.”